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Bonus Started 06/21/2007 00:15:06
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Jokes of the day
Don't take any chances
A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt.
He replies, Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes.
The government cuts costs
The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.
Steve, his wife said, while reading the newspaper, it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate six overaged destroyers.
To which the husband replies, Sorry to hear that, dear. I'm sure you'll miss your mother being gone.
The way you say it
It's not what you say, but the way you say it.
On a blind date, the boy said to the girl: Time stands still when I look into your eyes.
The girl was very flattered.
What the boy had really meant was, "You have a face that would stop a clock.
Flying in the plane
Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The desire deepen each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.
The years went pay, and Bob figured he didn't have much longer, so he got Sue out to the show, explaining, it's free to watch, let's at least watch. And once he got there the feeling become real strong. Sue and Bob started an arguement.
The Pilot, between flights, overheard, listened to they problem, and said, I'll tell you what, I'll take you up flying, and if you don't say a word the ride is on me, but if you back one sound, you pay ten dollars.
So off they flew. The Pilot doing as many rolls, and dives as he could heading to the ground as fast as the plane could go, and pulling out of the dive at just the very last second. Not a word. Finally he admited defeat and went back the airport.
I'm surprised, why didn't you say anything?
Well I almost said something when Sue fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.
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